2.

Assalamualaikum semua!

Been on a long hiatus cause.. i also dk why. Haha. Having some time now cause waiting for Miss Fiancé to be done with work. So i thought i blog a bit la.

 

So after quite some time of not blogging, im left with 2 mths sey! 2 mths to be a legit Husband to someone. Tbh, maybe i dont think of the pressure of being a husband just yet while Miss Fiancé is alrdy freaking out. Haha.

 

I just thought abt it recently on what it feels like to be a husband. The responsibility that comes with it. What direction that i would want us to go. What is our motto between eachother and all that. I have lesser worries abt the wedding as im much more worried to be someone’s husband. Like dont you guys feel that title is so huge? 7 letter words that encompass responsibility, leadership, love, caring, sensitive, gentle and etc.

 

One thing that would start my mind thinking is the common quote of “our wife is made from us. She symbolises our rib. Too hard it will be broken, too soft it will just be bent and not straighten”. From this quote tells me a lot of stuff alrdy. How we soon-to-be-husbands must be tactful in giving advises to our wife. How we should understand her emotions. Read her body language and what is the right way that could get the message across into her heart for her to remember Allah swt. Definitely being harsh is not the way to go but then what is the best way? Only you know guys.

 

With this also comes the topic on financial. Everyone knows that majority of the ladies are a big spender. So how do you want to control your financial as the head of the household. Maybe some couples work differently but for me, i do want to know where our money goes. At this current era and generation, having plan B, C, D to Z is always good to have. We cannot afford to spend and enjoy always like how others does it. Confirm you will think i kedekut right? HAHAHA! Up to you but i would like to think of it as being financially educated. House, baby, renovation that is coming up along the way im sure you have to be financially educated forcefully or willingly. Theres no escape route unless you kaya gila la.

 

Motto. As guys im sure we can be focus for one thing at a time thus what do we want in our family/relationship? Cliché answer would be to lead our wife and family to Jannah tho it is correct but in what way? This should be running through your mind alrdy by now as the day comes close. We are the leaders of our family (feminist ideas pls dont kepo) and we should be doing what was ordained for us. What we are created for and to fulfill that responsibility. If we are not even strong emotionally and physically, our wife and children will feel the repercussion.

 

Definitely at times we, Men, are weak too. Thus we got our lovely wife to be there for us. Guys, pls do share your feelings and how your day went with your partner. Dont just give a 1 word answer. Just talk to them. Start from now, in shaa Allah you will get the hang of it. Kalau tk suka, you say gently and nicely (this takes practise man serious). Its the best way bro.

 

I refuse to let negativity manifest itself inside of me from married guys/couples telling me what they felt after they got married. Being married is such a blessing from Allah swt and its a Sunnah. Although there will be complication with human problems, its life right? What is life without ups and downs. Fights and hugs. Its meant to be colourful. Not just a consistent routine.

 

I may not be married yet but i observe a lot. Toodles!

 

Regards,

Z

Updates!

Assalamualaikum!

Da almost 1 bulan aku tk blog. Haha. Maklumla lelaki, nak berbual pasal apa eh. Haha.

Anw registered our Nikah on 1st of March. Sanggup patah balik office to use the comp and register cause its easier to use a comp/laptop. What took 15 mins became like 30 mins cause i kept double checking the particulars and all to make sure its betul. And our Kadi yg we want also tkde. So i just had to search whatever Kadi yg available on that time slot we want and just book la. Guys la kn, kalau boleh nak hentam je la cause alhamdulillah my Fiancé Dad will be the one nikah-ing me to me Fiancé. So no hals punya. Important note kene practice pernafasan. Make sure boleh tahan sampai 6 harakat dengan bacaan tartil ye supaya tk stop2 bila lafaz tu😅 but actually tk wajib also. Haha!

Wedding cards : 4 more mths to go and our wedding cards, signage and poster da siap. Heh! Kiasu la cause bila Ramadhan and Raya nak chill je. Thats why nak push forward. So we got this Kakak la yg buat kad jemputan. I tell you cepat sey she do it and like ups la. Stick to their promise on when we want it to be ready. Alhamdulillah.

Furniture : Much anticipated moment cause it will be delivered to us soon! I cant wait to see it. Well im very picky abt the quality and also the workmanship but so far liasing with them has been good. We settled for wooden furniture cause we want our “investment” to last. Dont want to buy those normal or common bed nowadays cause it wont last till more than 10yrs? So yeah la. And also the price is reasonable and also cheap la for that kind of package that we are getting. So why not.

So ya la. 4 more mths to go. Next mth will be more busy with fitting and site survey with our vendor. Honestly, i just cnt wait for the planning to be done and go for a holiday. Till next time Kakak2 and Abg2!

 

Regards,

Z

Ponder.

Assalamualaikum semua!

Okay im going to make this a short one. Would just like to share something i feel really worth your data for.

Well as you can see, tadaaa ~

Kakak2 semua can share this with your tunang or boypren also. Cause personally to me this is like #relationshipgoals giler punya.

P.S standby tissue.

Regards,

Z

Rezeki.

Assalamualaikum semua!

Just finish my night shift and having my breakfast and this topic was lingering my thought for awhile.

With the current economy not doing so well(chey mcm economist pula aku ni), i heard friends getting retrenched from their job especially from the oil & gas company. And slowly its coming towards the mainstream industries too. Should we be afraid? Lagi2 those yg nak kahwin or yg da kahwin.

Personally in my work, i have heard people saying in Singapore if you dont work, you die? How to survive paying this and that. Lagi2 those non Muslim, dorg betul punya takut when it comes to sustenance itself. If can, they do what they can. Work 2 jobs and chase the world just so to be “rich”.

What is being “rich”? In Islam, if we are appreciative of what we have and what Allah swt gives, He will grant us more. What is more then? It can be in terms of wealth, health and many more ways our limited mind can fathom. You see, Islam is so advance and is called a way of life as it really defined the term “rich” in such a subjective way. It doesnt have to be in terms of money at all. It can be what i said earlier.

Another quote that is always being used is, dermalah kerana kita tidak akan menjadi miskin kalau kita derma/memberi. Like what? This doesnt make sense at all. Org kalau tk beriman tidak akan faham quote ni. In practical sense, mcm mana kalau derma kita tk akan menjadi miskin pun. (But jgnla teruk sangat sampai pukal2 kita 100% duit gaji kita derma). What this means is, just risau tentang rezeki kita atau duit kita yg kita ada ni.

Back to soal rezeki, bagi yg menghadapi ujian dari Allah swt tentang situasi begini, jgn sesekali kita fikir Allah ni tk suka aku kot. Sebab tu jadi gini. Kene buang kerja and all. JANGAN. Setiap insan di dunia ini sentiasa diuji olehNya. Dari mcm mcm cara. Kenapa then aku kene buang kerja? Hikmahnya akan kita tahu atau kalau tidak, sebagai hamba yg mengabdikan diri dan beriman kepadaNya, kita tawakkal dan redha. Kata nk masuk Syurga, kene uji sebegini Allah nak test je kita ni sincere tk beriman kepadaNya. Mcm Valentines day kn? Kalau kita sayang partner kita, kene tgk dia berikan kita hadiah atau tidak. Tapi cara Allah ni, SubhanAllah. Jadi bagi partner kakak2 semua yg mengalami ujian sebegini, jgn runsing ye. Allah akan beri petunjuk, in shaa Allah.

Bagi siapa yg masih ada kerja dan peluang untuk beribadah,(Yes, kerja pun ibadah tau. Terletak kepada niat kita sahaja.) buatlah kerja dengan sebaik mungkin. Dengan sempurna. Dengan tekun dan ingatlah kita kepada Allah swt dengan apa cara sekalipun. Setiap bulan dpt duit gaji nak derma, beri nafkah dan sebagainya. Tapi dlm hidup di Singapura ini, ada aja benda nak bayar. Daripads gajinya cukup jadi cukup2 makan sahaja. Tapi jgn lupa ucap ALHAMDULILLAH. Kalau kita asyik  berfikiran seperti non-muslim, rosaklah fikiran dan perspective kita ni. Bila keluar rumah ni, betulkan niat ke kerja dan be positive. In shaa Allah, pemikiran kita dan perjalanan kita ke kerja dan pulang akan memberi berkah dan menjadi sebuah ibadah bagi kita.

Haha! Aku ni mcm Ustaz and this post might be cliché. But as cliché as this post may look, even we tend to forget our purpose in this world. Which is to prepare for the next. May this post be an imaan booster to whoever who reads this and in shaa Allah, it may be beneficial to you. Dan juga jadi peringatan buat saya sebagai bakal suami akan dtg, in shaa Allah.

 

Sekian,

Z.

Perspective.

Assalamualaikum semua!

Well i just had a thought recently. Not really a thought la. More of like realisation within my own mind on one’s mindset when coming into wedding preps and all.

Well im sure you guys out there have expectation of something and also to your future wife/husband. Like what they suppose to do after marriage and they should do this and that for you. Even if not that much, sikit pun mesti ada la eh. Bedek la kalau tkde. Haha.

So i was thinking what for stress yourself on this. Like even before getting married, you can buat air sendiri and do everything yourself. Then bila kahwin you expect everything to be ready right before your eyes. Like in a instant you want this, you can get it right then and there.

No im not saying we shouldnt help or do something for our partner, its just that with wedding prep we will get anxiety attacks la and also kanchiong sana sini. But if you dig down deeper into why this thing happen in the first place is because you two love eachother and want to get married so that you both can be halal. Its that simple and basic. So we should cherish this moment and also enjoying the journey to being halal and be grateful for whatever you both have now that may be different once you both are married. Dont rumitkan or complicate things that are meant to make you both happy.

Be happy and also always make doa to Allah to always put love in between both of your hearts. For me, im afraid that if i were to enter marriage life with more negative feelings than positive ones, it will stay rooted. Will manifest itself into feeling like a chore to do something and theres is no love or happiness between you both.

One thing that i will rmb from pre-marriage course is when Mr Khair highlighted that we both are special. It should be and it have to be that way. It shouldnt be like a chore or a job to do. We find ease and comfort with eachother.

Recently, i have met ladies who are in their late 30’s or 40’s having such a negative mindset to their husband and marriage life. Openly sharing with people things that they are unhappy with their husband and life. Honestly i really felt sad for this ladies. Like why would you think that way kn? But to me, i always tend to cast away negative thoughts about marriage life when i think of it now. What i know i dont want to be like them and make my wife miserable that way.

So guys, we are the captain of the ship. In the stormy sea of life, we have to tawakkal, make doa and also be tactful in handling our spouses. Its like PR skills too but its for the benefit of our marriage life. The only direction we are going is towards Allah swt and mencari keredhaanNya. Either straight, bend or crooked the road is thats where we should head to and bring our wife, children and family. Its a tough one but according to Nabi s.a.w “the best of you is the one who is best to their wife”. Thats why we are made to be Khalifah in Allah’s eyes because thats our responsibility as a husband.

 

Regards,

Z

Marriage Course.

Assalamualaikum semua!

My Fiancée and I just completed our Kasih Sejati : Pre-Marriage course last weekend. FUUUHHHHH! I tell you, the course is like so mind blowing and full of interesting info that im sure newly married couples will need to equip themselves with.

Well my Fiancée and me went to Suchi Success Kasih Sejati pre-marriage course cause we feel that they are good and Miss Fiancee initially went to check them out with their review at other couples blogs. So thus we decided to enrol the course provided by them. Its at Ubi industrial area and not that Ulu place as its just beside the main road so its really convenient. The bus stop is right smack beside their building so if you guys are planning to go for the course at their HQ then you don’t have to worry (:

Im a little sceptical about the pre-marriage course initially as what I thought it would cover mainly are just the basics like financial planning and maybe just touch and go when it comes to religion aspect. But noooo!! Kasih Sejati really like go into details about the ehem part too. So guys, pls don’t brush off the thought when your fiancée ajak you all go to the marriage course. I know its not compulsory now but pls do go and experience it with your Fiancee together okay.

So on the 1st day of the course, the 1st module conducted by Mr Mohd Khair. I tell you, he was superb with his ability in training such that you wont feel boring, dull and sleepy eventhough its in the morning. The 1st module that he shared with us about is the aspect on you and your partner itself. I super like his idea and his perspective on this. He said that we both are special and we should continue treat our relationship “special”. Such that no one knows about anything that is going on between you and your partner. Exclusiveness. That we both have to work our marriage every single day and its not that once we reach home after work, we chill guys ehhh. He gave an example of us at work. We want our performance bonus to be high and an ‘A’ grade, it goes the same too once we reach home or even with our partner. We should aim that ‘A’ grade in treating them well and be the best husband in the eyes of Allah swt and also our partner. Time and effort is needed to work our marriage and we should be just aim for the ‘C’ grade or the ngam ngam ho punya mindset.

Besides this, he said that according to stats in Singapore for the past few years that the cause for divorce in Singapore is not due to financial anymore whilst it is at 2nd ranking now, it is Infidelity/Curang/Kayu Tiga. Shocking right? He said that there were many cause because of this such as woman having financial independence now, social media and etc.

Rukun Nikah.

Guys, I heard from Ustaz that the Tok Kadi and Naib Kadi gonna ask us when they interview us when we meet them after we register. So basically, there are 5 rukun for nikah.

  • Pengantin Perempuan
  • Pengantin Lelaki
  • Wali/ Wali Hakim
  • 2 Saksi
  • Ijab + Kabul + Mahr

This part is very important to everyone I feel as this is what Allah laid out to us to ensure that the nikah is sah. The Wali is best to be done by the bride’s lawful(not biological) father. This issue revolves around, sorry to say, anak luar nikah and such. There are so many procedures to follow too. Like for example, even if the bride is in contact with the biological father but she ‘made’ before her parents married, the biological father is not allowed to be her Wali for her nikah. As by hukum, she is not her father even if she is from him. This is just one of the example that the Ustaz highlighted which to me is very important to know because if one of these things happen to any of our family members, we are equipped with the knowledge to atleast advise them on what to do. (:

Sex 

Im sure guys are especially eager about this topic. haha! What I can say is that in this course, the Ustaz and Mr Mohd Khair explained to us clearly on what is permissible and what is not. They also included the doa to do ‘it’ which we need to recite before doing the ibadah. With this, they also touched on Fiqh issues with regards to Jimak (Sex). Like whether certain liquids need to mandi hadas besar or not. Adab on Jimak like using a blanket and jaga maruah eachother. But really, they explained it clearly well such that I don’t have any doubts after my nikah regarding this.

Responsibilities

In one of the Ustaz module, he explained about the criteria for Nafkah. Nafkah should be given by the Husband to the Wife. It can be in a form of monetary only, buying for the wife their basic necessities like barang dapur, api-air, makan, baju and lastly, in a form of 50-50. 50-50 means to say that the Husband give in a form of monetary and also buying things for their Wife. He shared with us on case studies with regards to the fact that some husbands can only give their wife $50 monthly for their nafkah. Which was really what they could afford after he looked through the husband’s finances. Thus, as husband we need to list down our expenses and have to sacrifice certain things like cigarettes and may also have to work another job just to give to their wife with how much they need. BUT if isteri abg-abg semua redha then Alhamdulillah. Bila bab nafkah ni is very important and crucial guys, we have to really provide for our Wife with what they need as we are supposed to be the Protectors of them. It is our responsibility as a Husband to provide for them. We cannot just not give nafkah just because our wife is financially independent. As much as we want our Wife later to taat to us, we must do our part too.

In summary, I can tell you that going to pre-marriage course is really really good for couples going into Alam Nikah. It somehow give you a wake up call on what to expect and also give you another awesome perspective of being together after nikah. To me, his perspective should be in the minds of majority of married couples nowadays. For guys who think that since its not compulsory don’t need to go la, I urge you to go with your partner if you have the money. It will really help a lot!

Till then.

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Regards,

Z

Ring.

Assalamualaikum!

A ring.

Im very fussy when it comes to something that i want. Thus i told my Fiancée that i dont want my ring to be at any of the normal jewellery shop that is located at shopping malls. Cause whats so special about your ring if you get it off the shelf? And it also has to tell a story about yourself. Its your ring and also a symbol of your marriage. Dont kecam me eh. This one my POV je. *peace*

Screenshot_20161225-155354.png

Initially i used to watch TVD(The Vampire Diaries) and i noticed they have very nice daylight rings that these vampires wore. Thus the spark to want to have it for my ring.

So at expo after me and Fiancée bought our bedroom furnitures, we saw Tanweer. Okay Tanweer is the Director and Founder of Gems by Gems. I got to know his shop during Ramadhan last year right after Sahur when the radio advertise his service. I kept that in mind and went to his shop and did my Fiancée enagagement-cum-wedding ring. So yeah, i didnt noticed him at first at expo and he went over to me and said hi and ask how am i. I was shocked cause guys, im sure he had a lot of customers and he still remembers us! No we both not famous for him to rmb us that much. So yeah. Haha. So we went over to his booth with future in-laws and kaypo kaypo je. Fiancée recommended her parents on their customise rings out of anything and particularly their gems. Finally they got a ring and Miss Fiancée yg gatal ni ask me whether nak make mine then and there tk? And im like.. i dont have a design in mind and all. So went over and flipped their catalogues (he have like ALOT) and couldnt find the one like the above. Then i googled and tadaaaa! After future in-laws turn, we both sat down and discuss. Whats more awesome was that all the Sapphire gems were going at a discount. Tanweer then said he would choose the best for me and let me see. So finally decided on a $2.4k gem worth and since it was on sale, i got it at 3 times cheaper. YAAAAYYYY!! Alhamdulillah.

Went over the procedures of the design and all set and done. Hehehe. Miss Fiancée went over budget by a bit but she’s okay with it. Alhamdulillah again. Heh! Time to ketok her pocket😅

Guys, if you are wondering whether he can make your ring from scratch, yes Tanweer can. Just give him your design and he will advise you on the thickness of the band and such. I really recommend him to you all if you all finding a custom pair of ring la. Lagipun must support local. However guys, this is not a sponsored post or whatever la. Genuinely recommend you to him because of his service that he offers. 🖒

Till then.

 

Regards,

Z